I dunno whatever happens to me
i felt like a failure(once more)

i felt tired even though my projs are not in rough waters.
I just want to be noticed.

but i failed as a friend when i can't even say something useful/measningful to a friend about what she is going through now...

What right do i have in people's lives when i dun even give a damn about how they are doing?

Though everyone is my friend, not everyone treats it so.

Maybe i'm too sensitive, but ....what happens in sch is .... nvm i shall not elaborate.

If a mute can have many friends, why can't a normal person ? unless i'm adnormal?

is communication the only factor here?

I know whatever happens to me, i can only blame myself...as its all due to me .

Different people have different personalities, but why all these people can communicate well together, but not with me?

just tell me where i went wrong!!

yayayaya communications, solo guy, quiet, anti-social......i had already talked abou this in my previous posts!
...looks like i'm just cirlcing round and round....with no destination or goal.

ppl talk to me only about sch work and proj, but nth else.except some rare times.

if i say all r my friends, i can say only a few are real.

what is the meaning of real friends?

are friends just a term for "a person tt i know by the name and who i talked to only about sch work"?

what am i babbling about?

am i being randm today?

is it becos i gt nth better to blog about?

why am i secong-guessing your thoughts? or am i?

i'm just writing whatever comes to my mind?

do i ever think b4 i write?

i really envy others...but what's the point of envying?

i'm in my third year now...but i feel like a immature person, a selfish one at tt.

so what if i admit my mistakes? i said i'll change. where is it?

none at all!

all i can do is daydream!

My good friend has a clique of over 20! but i have nth...yes its my fault, no one else's...

I'm not trying to argue, grumble or complain here...

its my weakness..i can only communicate freely in msn!

am i being over-dependant on it?

am i just a coward shifting around in my tiny four-corner space?

i'm not fit to be anyone's .....i can only be a good friend, nth more than that
becos its after 19/11/2008 that i really start to think...and reflect...and lie to myself before dragging myself back to reality again..i had to face the fact!

i long for company, but what can i give in return? no one wants a loner for company...no one most certainly wants an emo anti-socialist in a clique.Actually i'm netiher! but my actions may have perceived ppl to think tt i am!

Change is not the thing here!
the thing is HOW? do i follow a certain number of steps?
or do i need to act indefinitely in front of them?

actually i do not know what exactly am i trying to convey in this post..

i just wanted to fall onto my bed and sleep.

how will i survive in NS?

why am i wacking my brain so i can continue this post?

can i just stop here?

do i need to continue?
i finally realised another important weakness about me.

i am not decisive at all!!

am i trying to show off or to catch attention by writing all this? if so, why? am i really desperate for company? Am i trying to get noticed? Yes? If no, does it contradict with my 4th sentence?

why am i typing so fast?

my neck hurts!

my head hurts...

my heart...ok stop being emo pls.but no, its not emo..its something else, something more complex, but which actually is quite simple and cruel, maybe?

i found out another thing...i'm talking to myself in this post!
am i?

stop....!

sorry did i scare you...hahaz.
I'm a hypocrite. but it depends on how ppl define it.How i define it. How you deine it.

relax, there's nth wrong with me.

This is a very random post. i'm just confused.or perplexed. or just being silly, wrong in the brain., etcetc, crazy even...

better end this post now.

Sighing off,
JL