You must know that a person's personality or character will stay with him like his own shadow, throughout his life.

You cannot change it, nor can the person himself.

But if others cannot tolerate or come to terms with it, its their own problem.

People who knows me will know that i am not a loner, and though i do not speak much, its because i cannot interact well with others, not because i am an ARROGANT BASTERD.

No one says i am so, but some things you do not have to say it out to let people know how you feel about them

Yes, i am not able to interact well with other.

Yes, my actions make poeple feel that i am a loner.

Yes, i cannnot commit to interacting with people for long period of time ( and in my case 30 mins is quite long) unless the person initiates the talk .

But this does not mean i cannot do well in group work!!

If you bloody hell feel that my lack of interaction skills or communication skills will afect the group as a whole ( and i can say that whatever i was told to do (eg. research or parts of report), i will do my best to finish it within the time limit), then FINE!

worst come to worst i can accept any group that is willing to accept me as a group member

I dun need friends just because i have few.

I dun need those that look down on me.

I dun need those that cannot accept me as me.

I dun need people who use streotypes to look at others. (and i know i am doing the same thing in this post but i dun care)

I dun need friends just to increase my current number of friends.

I need only those that are worthy of my friendship.

I am not a loner by nature, i am forced by circumstances

i know no one forced me, and this is all my wrongdoing.

but i know the meaning of fairness and separating personal feuds with official work.

If you dun like me, say it out.

Dun use other excuses like you dun want more than 5 people in your group.

okokokokok i know this may seem very biasd and i am limiting this situation to my own thinking and not based on objectivity.

In the first place i should not have post this post and affect my readers, but i feel the need to just vent the pent-up feeligs within myself.

This may look as if its full of slander but i dun care.

I am not aiming at anyone, just the situation i am in now.

or am i lying to myself?

BTBM or not, this is the last semester.

Just get the hell over with it and survive NS.

Tekong or not it does not really matter

What matters is at least i gt a few friends who kows what the hell i am babbling about.

I'll show them i can do it even with this psychological problem of mine.

No one can be denied any fairness and right in achieving success just because they have any communication or interaction problems.

I am starting to wonder if SP DBA is the right choice for me, except the fact that i've made some good friends here.

Needless to say, this is the extreme side of me.

Poeple ask, why i am different when outside and at home?

I might or might not provide an answer in this blog, but its for another time.

but i know that whatever happens in SP, its just a tweeny weeny part of my life.

I have far more important matters to do, to achieve, to enjoy, than to stay here and suffer or cry just because people dun welcome me.

Even if SP dun welcome me, there are people outside who will accept me.

To an extreme, for me, SP is just a place to get a diploma and cca points and to make a few real friends.

tt's all.

besides this, it does not matter if the whole class doe not wish to interact with me, or in a sadder case, fear to.

People change but not their character or personality, but if they do change these two things, then it means they have achieved something great, provided they change for the better.

To conclude,

(1)
In life, you will experience failures more than success.
This is because there will never be success without failure.
The main thing is to accept the failure, learn from it and to apply what you have learnt.
In this way you will not have failed for nothing.

(2)
In life, one of the most important things to do, and also the thing that you must learn to do, is to

LET GO.

remember the phrase: "Live and let live"?

if we forever remember hatred and force ourselves to carry this hatred with us throughout our lives, isn't it more easy to just let go and live a more less stresful and peaceful life?

Only when we can put down truly all our hatred will there be peace in our mind and soul.

but sadly, its not the case in this world.

even i am not able to achieve these things

After writing this post,i feel a little better.

I dun care what will happen for BTBM, lets worry when the time comes.

for now, just do my MMIT and enjoy the holidays (if i can)

Stay Positive!!!
If you ever find youself lost and all alone, get back on your feet and think of the people you love.

Their love will get you home :)