Finally

Finished my Semester one Exams on Monday.

Four modules in total.

Now holidays until dunno when.

em

overall, its ...ok i guess except for IA & F.

I became very emo after the paper and waited till everyone went off before i left the classroom...

Though i really hope to get at least 3 this time, i know its impossible again..

nevermind, whatever i get is up to fate and heaven, and also as a result of how much i studied.

Been watching the Channel 8 9pm show.
its quite nice, provides a few new insights into our daily lives.
what i really wanted to see in Hong Kong series would include how the characters manage love, friendship and family.

Sometimes it makes me really envious of them, but of course, its all "just for show"..makes me wonder what it feels like if its for real??

I've always felt that the Hong Kong actors and actresses are 100% more natural and professional than those in Singapore.

It can never be compared.

If i got money, i would be watching VV Drama on Channel 55 by now..

anyway

sometimes, i realy felt that...

i've done so many bad thigs throughout my life that..

loneliness is my punishment, and those precious and few frendships that i am honoured to receive, are my consolations.

it could be seen through the fact that throughout my two weeks of exams, none of my classmates spoke to me before or after the exams.

i know very well that its my fault cos i also did not speak to them in the first place, and this is just a cycle:

i do not know how to speak to them -> they treat me as anti-social and loner then dun speak to me-> they dun speak to me, so i dun speak to them -> etc etc etc.

okok i had to confess again...i dun really treat my class as a class but just as a medium to study and do projects and get a diploma.. but it is not without a reason.
as what i wrote before in my previous posts....i just cannot find the right way to interact with them.

tt's just one reason.

sometimes i realy feel that one or two of them are really against me...but i dun care and dun want to care..

sometimes i really find that some of the people in my class realy treat me as an ani-social loner, but i dun care and dun want to even thnk about it...

i'm really sorry, i have to repeat again and again, but this may be the only medium where i can get my thoughts out in sentences, cos i cannot really tell tis to anyone who is willing to listen OR whom i can recount by just speaking.

like what i have been doing for my other posts, i'm writing what comes to my mind.
i feel that its much more easier to type it out rather than to say it out.

more effective as it tends to stay longer in people's minds and it could be read again and again.
dun have to rmb what i need to say, or what i've said.

you can say i'm a bit lazy (ya, really just a bit :p)

but sometimes...i did try to "merge" into them, in vain, and a very big vain at that.

take for example during my GEMs. I tried to interact by laughing with them and responding verbally to what they are doing, but guess what??

yup, you might have guessed it.

I'M TREATED AS AN INVISIBLE.

wow, so now besides being an anti-social loner, i became the Invisible man. You can call me mr. Invisible.

Does it mean that if someone is not good at the issue of interactivity, you can just anyhow clasify him and based on your own "perceptions" amd "definitions", do whatever you think is right??

sometimes, the Golden Rule does not apply here necessaily
(i.e. do what you want others to do to you, or do what others had did to you)

I'm really blessed to have friends who know i'm not just any anti-social you find on the streets. Nor am i a loner.

and i know what's the point of writing what i feel here?

y not just trash it out with them?
no.


yup, it may seem that i'm also using my own perceptions and definitions when i am writing these, cos i also dnno what they are thinking..

but i'm writng based on how i am treated outside schoolwork.
(which means if there is no projects/ schoolwork/any other things which needs necessary interaction, i'm being treated as non-living or invisible)



ok
i shall stop writing about these..these...these negative issues.


should be happy that exams are over

thanks Hong Ning for giving me the lobang for the popular IT fair !! :)

Wonder when we can get our exam results back??

long time nvr blog le....haz nvr know got so much to write.

btw.....

it feel so good to be throwing some loops (aka. throwing the basketball into the basket)especially when the basketball court is just below my flat..
but it does seem a little bored by myself but its ok..and sometimes i even feel lazy to even go down!! lol but dun worry this won't last long..i will not stay lazy for long..i just went down this morning. yay!

oh no..september need to book NAFTA test le...have nvr passed it before..

need to go NS soon...will i survive?

i have been doing nth for the past two days except playing dota and Freesky and going to the basketball court.

** i know i must be responsible for what i wrote in my blog, and should not just slam eveything into my posts. I'll reflect on this..but sometimes..its really hard.

to be continued.

Signing off,
JL.